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From Rejection Spreadsheets to Book Deals: Chloe de Lullington's Journey to Publication
Every author's journey to publication has unique twists and turns, but Chloe de Lullington's path to bringing her debut novel "Cacoethes" into the world is particularly revealing about the persistence required in today's publishing landscape. In a candid conversation on the Tarot Interviews podcast, Chloe shared insights about her decade-long journey from first draft to published book - a testament to creative persistence that many aspiring writers will find both relatable and inspiring.
Chloe began writing "Cacoethes" when she was just 19 years old, capturing the raw, unfiltered experience of university life between 2014-2017. Now approaching 30, she's about to see her work in print through Northodox Press. What's remarkable isn't just the time span, but how she maintained her creative vision through changing life circumstances. As Chloe explains, "The spark isn't enough. You kind of have to keep it simmering on a low heat that entire time until somebody comes along and lets you actually stoke it into a fire that they're going to help you bring to the world."
This creative journey required balancing authenticity with growth. Chloe made the conscious decision not to overhaul the manuscript as her perspective matured, preserving the genuine voice of her younger self while acknowledging her evolution as a writer. "I didn't want to be a 30-year-old writing about a 19-year-old," she explains, noting that maintaining the time-specific references and cultural touchpoints from the mid-2010s gives the book a distinctive authenticity that would be lost if she had tried to make it more "evergreen."
What's particularly poignant about Chloe's publishing story is her relationship with rejection. After years of submissions to agents resulted in a "rejection spreadsheet" she describes as "a graveyard," Chloe submitted directly to Northodox Press "almost on a whim." The difference this time? Rather than trying to shape herself into what she thought agents wanted, she presented her authentic voice. "I think I was trying to be the author that I thought that agent wanted, whereas with Northodox there was almost nothing to lose... the best thing to do is just be very authentic and then also try not to care too much about it."
The themes at the heart of "Cacoethes" reflect this authentic approach - exploring power imbalances, bad decisions, and the messiness of young adulthood with unflinching honesty tempered by humor. Chloe discusses how she chose to frame these experiences: "There is a way of telling this story which is very bleak, and there is a way of telling the story, which is the one that I've gone for, which is 'gosh, that was funny, wasn't it? Let's not do it again, but it was funny.'" This balance between acknowledging genuine vulnerability while finding the humor in youthful missteps creates a narrative that feels both honest and accessible.
Perhaps most surprising in Chloe's journey is how she approached the writing community - or rather, how she didn't. Unlike the common advice to build connections first, Chloe wrote in isolation, refused to show her work to anyone except agents for years, and only found her writing community after securing her publishing deal. This unconventional route highlights that there's no single "correct" path to publication, and that staying true to one's own process can ultimately lead to success.
For writers struggling with rejection and the long road to publication, Chloe's experience offers genuine hope and practical wisdom. Her story reminds us that persistence matters more than perfection, authenticity resonates more deeply than trying to fit a prescribed mold, and that sometimes the tenth year of effort is the one that finally breaks through.
